23 Weeks- Letter

I signed up on this website (babycenter.com) to send me a weekly update on my baby and what new developments and activities I can expect. I have loved reading about all of the changes and growth that the baby is making each and every week.

This week, at the end of the post it said:

This Week's Activity:

Write a letter to your baby.

• Describe your feelings toward your baby and what it's like to know he's growing inside you.
• Imagine a perfect day with your baby and what you'll do together.
• Write down your hopes, dreams, and wishes for your baby.
• Think about what being a mother means to you and your definition of what makes a good mother.

So here is the letter. I just wrote things as the thoughts and feelings came to mind-

Dear Baby Boy,

For such a little person, weighing about a pound right now, you have got a strong kick. You actually got me to say, "Ouch!" out loud yesterday.

And even though sometimes your kicks hurt, I am moody and crying constantly, my face is breaking out terribly, I am looking fat and kind of unattractive, I get tired-so so tired to the point I don't know if I'm going to be able to brush my teeth before bed, my feet and legs are starting to hurt if I've been standing for a couple hours, and it's getting hard to find a comfortable sleeping position and my back is beginning to ache and I've noticed my posture getting worse and worse and I am terrified of birth and worried if I will be a good mom and if I'm ready for this....

I marvel at you. You have brought me so much joy already. I love feeling your strong kick, knowing that my boy is healthy and moving around. I can't believe how lucky I am to experience this miracle of life growing inside of me. And I know that every pain and complaint I could have just makes it so you can grow and it makes it all so worth it. Everything is worth it.

I can't help but picture you and your dad playing some ball or maybe learning music- he would love to teach you to play the banjo or guitar.

How are we going to teach you to be good? I feel so imperfect at times and I wonder if I will be able to be a good example for you. A rock for you to lean on. What kind of role will I play in your life? I know I will take care of you and change your diapers and feed you and clean up your throw up and all of this but what about when you are older? Will you be able to talk with me? Will me and you be able to go have mommy-son dates? I guess I always pictured being friends with my daughters and never really considered that maybe someday I could be friends with my sons. I hope I can be strong enough to put my foot down when those times come, but also that you will know I love you and we will be able to have a good relationship.

I wish you to:

-be a disciplined and hard worker

-have a firm and strong knowledge of God and his love for you

-be able to have a lot of fun, whether that be sports or music or whatever interest you look into

-be strong and healthy

-be handsome, but not too soon- I hope you have a awkward teenage phase so the girls stay away from you for a while

-go and serve the Lord with everything you have for two years on a mission

-desire to be married in the temple

-treat women as treasures from Heavenly Father and always show that respect he would expect from you

-show love and kindness to all you come in contact with

-always remember your family and the love we have for you

-remember what is important in life and never lose sight of the big picture

-make good decisions and stay away from temptations that could make your life a lot harder to live happily and with the spirit

-be a trustworthy and faithful person until the end

-know of the power and importance of repentance

I think I could keep going on and on about all my wishes for you but I wish every good and blessed thing on this earth for you. I know that we need to be a good example to you of these things if we are really going to teach you anything. I know I have a lot of work to do and everything will not always be perfect but I want you to always remember the Savior and that he made it possible for you to repent and start again, no matter what.

Our family can be together forever and I'm so excited to see what life brings to you and what you choose to go after in life.

I love you so much son.

I pray for you every day and feel so blessed to know that I am going to be able to be a mother.

Love,

Mom

P.S. I cannot wait to hold you! I can't wait to kiss your toes blow raspberries on your tummy. Just thought I should mention that.

23 Weeks Update

Journal Highlights:

January 29th:

Jay's birthday!!! We went to watch him play basketball and one of the players had his son there and at half time they were shooting hoops and I'm picturing you playing with your dad a few years down the road. I think you are going to like basketball- I was cheering and you were kicking like crazy! I think you liked the excitement of it all.

January 30th:

I am sooo moody these days. I cry like every five seconds over EVERYthing. I mean, I know I'm a crier but really? Jay left for school this morning and I had to cry about it...is this normal?

January 31st:

Um, so my clothes are starting to not fit anymore. I have been getting away with the rubber band around the button dealio cheating method but now it's getting uncomfortable. I finally got out some of the clothes my awesome sister-in-law let me borrow and the belly band is simply AMAZing. I am now converted and will be purchasing one in every color most likely.

February 1st:

I feel a tightness in my belly and I have to take breaks when on walks- it is actually quite uncomfortable- oh and sleeping on my left side is becoming the only thing that is comfortable.

22 Weeks

Month: 5 (beginning)

Weight Gain: 14.5 lbs

Journal Highlights:

Yes, baby Jensen has grown a TON in 2 weeks! It's craziness.

January 21st:
K, I have been so good about not a ton of eating sugar. Now I get tired around 5:30 in the evening and I'm not sleepy, I'm physically tired. So I don't want to go to bed so I make treats! Sugar gives me a great little burst of energy...I just know I shouldn't be feeding you all that.

January 24th:
So tired. I still feel you moving around but I have been SOOOO busy this week I never really get a chance to sit there and marvel at you. I forget you are there because I so involved in everything until you give me a good little kick.

January 25th:
Every night this week I have felt my belly stretch further and further. I have grown a LOT in 2 weeks. I was worried a little bit about you growing but I think we are staying on target. I stare at other bellies I see when I'm out and about and now I think those ladies know why I'm staring-because they can see you just as good!

January 27th:
Whoa. Okay, I don't think I'm worried anymore about gaining the extra weight- I think I'm doing very good in that department- now I just need to make sure that when I get tired I am eating good things for you instead of sugar!
I went to Zumba today and it was so much fun!!! I felt so good and made it to 9:30! That's an extra 4 hours I had energy. So so great!

21 Weeks

Journal Highlights:

This week was so exciting I can't even stand it.

January 17th: I have been trying to get Jay to feel you kick for about a week now and you are quite the tease!!! The moment I start to feel you and grab whoever is next to me and shove their hand on my belly and wait holding my breath. After about 30 seconds of silence and staring, waiting, it gets awkward so I reluctantly release my death grip of whoever it was I holding hostage.

So this morning I wake up to some kicks. "Jay!" I whisper-scream. "Wake UP!!!!" I grab his hand and place it over my tummy and wait expectantly. Jay has experienced this same routine day after day and I'm sure expected nothing unusual. Then "BAM!" Epic kick. Best. Kick. Yet . Jay's eyes got wide and he said, "Wow."

Okay, so what do you expect from a guy who stays up working all night and has a crazy pregnant lady waking him up in the morning? All joking aside, it was really amazing to share that with Jay.

January 19th: I was not expecting a mini-massage on my ribs tonight. In fact you always kick on my left lower abdomen and today I was in shock that you could reach all the way up to my ribs on the right side.I guess you are getting long- I think almost 10 inches now- size of a banana. It tickled and made me laugh out loud. I swear, you kicked in response to my giggles which made me laugh even more. So I nudged gently back with my fingertips and you kicked back. It was so special to feel you alive and well today. Today you are really real to me.

Week 20

Month 4
Weight Gain: 10.5 lbs

December 29th: Everyone wants to know if they can see you yet-I know I can see you and I know you are growing! I think you are the size of a bell pepper now and weigh about 6 oz.

January 2nd: You are always in my thoughts- I can't stop thinking about you- maybe for a second but my next thought is always, "I just forgot I was pregnant!" It's not really like I forgot, it's just you were out of my mind for a second and then "Wham!" It hits me again that you are growing inside of me.

January 5th: I just spent a fortune on baby and birthing books from Amazon- trying to be less scared out about the actual birth as it is becoming more real to me.


January 7th: I feel my belly stretching- I know you are growing faster than before. Yoga has been amazing helping me breath with you.

January 10th: Sore from yoga...still. I felt you a lot today- maybe because I was sitting the whole day working on my new photoshop. I wonder if you move that much on other days and I just don't notice it because I'm moving around. But wow, it was cool to constantly feel you moving around, letting me know you are in there.


January 11th: Your daddy and I talk about you and he said today that he is jealous that I get to experience all the movements you are making and what a cool thing that must be. It IS cool.Oh and you HATE cinnamon.


January 12th: I've think I've made up my mind about finding out what gender you are. My final guess is that you are a boy. Jay's final guess (as he sits next to me) is that you are a...boy. Guess we both guess boy. We will see....maybe....

January 13th, Friday the 13th that is:
We went to have our ultrasound today and it's official! YOU ARE A BOY!!!! We couldn't be happier. We love you so much already and so excited to start getting serious about boy names and we picked out your first outfit to celebrate finding out: a cute little onsie with a blue and brown striped tie.

The Big Reveal

Well, Jay and I have been looking forward to our ultrasound for some time now- especially after I hear a lot of pregnant ladies get their first ultrasound around 14 weeks!

I have tossed and turned the past few nights not knowing if I am going to find out or not. I thought the idea of not finding out sounded really fun- the whole surprise thing. Then there were moments when I was sure I wanted to find out. Then there were all the moments in between where I couldn't decide one way or the other so I finally decided it was like getting my hair cut. You think you are going to and then you don't but really it's when you are in the hot seat at your appointment that you decide right? At least that's how I always am. So I just decided it would be like that.

So she puts the goop on my belly and just started moving it around- I thought it would be more dramatic- like she would look at me and say seriously, "Are you ready for this?" And I would take a deep breath and I would agree that I was ready.
Nope- just goop and then go.

The image appears on the screen and I've seen other people's ultrasound pictures and it always looks so blurry and i'm always confused how they can distinguish what is what. I couldn't help but be disappointed to find out that my ultrasound picture was just as confusing. I thought maybe because it was my baby up there all of a sudden I would be an expert- ha! So as the technician moves the utlrasound head around I desperatly ask every two seconds, "What is that!?" She smiles and says, don't worry, I'll show you everything. I had to bite my tongue and just try really hard to be patient.

Then she asks, "You want to know the gender?"

There was no hesitation.
"Yes."
Yes I do, if the baby will show us I want to know whole-heartedly. It wasn't hard to decide in that moment at all.

Well, we found it.

You know what I mean by "it" right?
A little boy part. Right there. It is a boy and we couldn't be happier.

Him. He. Boy.

My siblings and mom were able to join us for the ultrasound and I hired my siblings as photographers and they ended up recording the whole thing. I ask way too many dumb questions and look worried the whole time and Jay is just in awe the whole time.

Guess the video won't load-maybe I'll try later.

Rebekah's Wedding

I took pictures at a friend's wedding today!
They aren't the best ever, I know that, but I'm learning and I thought I would share my attempt on my blog for fun.

Yah, I wasn't ever planning on doing anyone's wedding because I have next to no experience with using my DSLR and it was one of the scariest things ever. A wedding happens so fast and moments pass and people get tired and there is such a thing as smiling too much. I am so lucky to know Rebekah and that she let me tag along and practice all these skills that I lack!!!
What a beautiful day to be taking pictures too- in January???! Rebekah actually told me that they chose this temple specifically because they thought it would look good in the snow. Ha! And it was better weather than it was on my wedding day in mid-March.

So, it was so much fun, and holy cow- it taught me I have a lot to learn about how to operate my camera.
Thank goodness for photoshop (still learning that too)!

They are so happy and in love and it was so much fun to take their pictures on their special day.
Here's a few from today:

I loved it and Rebekah is so gorgeous!
Thanks for sharing your special day with me!!!!