After 7 months, the rocking chair is officially creaking! Ah! That's like the worst, but at least it's lasted this long right?
We are what a lot of people call officially in the "fun stage" that lasts until about 2 or 3.
I mean it has been fun up to this point, but I see why this would be classified by many as the "fun stage"
it is so
much
fun.
holy cow.
Jay does this dance with the baby- he absolutely loves it.
Oh and Grant loves it too!;)
I used to be soooo embarrassed as a new mom going into the mother's lounge or feeding the baby in front of anyone ever because he was so noisy. You could hear every suck, every swallow- he would make sounds his voice like, "mmmmm" like he was really enjoying eating. Oh man, as a new mom that was so awkward for me- none of the other mom's babies were making so much noise! Come on!
Well, I've decided that is just how he eats.
Have you ever seen "What About Bob"?
Yep, that's Grant eating anything. Seriously. I can't help but bust up laughing almost every meal. He loves food so much. I mean his first word was "More". And looking at him you know he loves it. But he voices his love too- it's great.
He is talking so much. Ba ba ba Da da da Ma ma ma- mostly Ba ba ba with a lot of inflections and such like he really is telling you something. It's pretty darn cute. I think he understand me though: I tell him to bang the pan and then he does:)!! ha ha.
He rolled over twice this month! ha ha.
He is scooting backwards! That's fun.
I'll put him down on the floor and he will scoot across the floor using his hands to push himself and will end up under the table looking so confuse.
I put him on the bed and he ended up pushing himself to the edge of the bed and standing up- he loved it. Did I mention our mattress is on the floor? That was probably some scary imagery you had- no worries! So yes, the mattress is on the floor so the baby can sleep with us without us having to worry about him rolling off and hurting himself with a big fall. (I'll do a post about co-sleeping but I absolutely love it).
His two top front teeth are through and there is a ginormous gap in between them. Jay said he wasn't too sure about the way it looked but I know G man will rock the gap. He's just too cute to look any less cute with a gap. come on.
My mom called saying she had shingles :( and she was crying because she wouldn't be able to hold grant or even see him for two weeks! We had to cancel our plans with my family for christmas because of this illness. So sad:(
Oh so it's fun having a fat baby. Really fun- he's so squishy and cuddly. But there is a downfall other than lifting him;) Nothing fits him. I mean no pants. I find shirts and just roll up the sleeves a bit but pants are harder to do that with. I wish I could sew.
Someone saw us in walmart from highschool and I introduced my child looking like a hobo baby- nothing matched and he was just so cute but dressed in the only things that fit him-these weird sweats and cowboy sweater. It was weird. Oh well.
Lovin' the johnny jump-up like crazy
Reaches into diaper while I'm changing it- only when it's poopy though!!! ha ha
He loves beans
His hair isn't standing straight up anymore. It's so sad. It does this weird wave thing that looks like peacock feathers or something. If I want it straight up I have to blow-dry it.
He laughs about everything.
Oh I have a weird video.
Just ignore my craziness.
Look at the cute baby and listen to the music of the cute baby laugh.
I love that he finds the most random things so entertaining. How could life get any better? Seriously.
Did you know you could have a crush on your husband you've been married to for
2 and 1/2 years?
I didn't.
I mean, I love him and I have enjoyed being married to him but he isn't the same man I married. He is, but he isn't. I realized the other day I love him more than I ever could have imagined possible. And he loves me even through all my weaknesses which are TONS. I just feel giddy like a school girl with a crush on this guy who is just the sweetest, coolest guy. I catch myself just thinking about him during the day and I can't help but let a huge grin cross my face. I just sit there and smiling and looking back to our wedding day, the day I promised to love this man, I never could have imagined knowing how happy I could be with him.
After 2 and 1/2 years of being married,
I am more in love with him
more grateful for him
he is sweeter
kinder
gentler
understanding-er;)
happier
smarter
handsomer
funnier
than ever before.
Here's just one of the romantic things he said to me on my birthday-
Warning: it is very cheesy
Do you like cheese?
I do.
Okay, he said:
"You get 24 birthday kisses.
Oh and a little secret:
You can have as many as you want,
Forever."
With a *wink* and a smile that's just for me.
You imagine someone as goofy as my hubby is looking ridiculous saying things with such cheddar or pepper-jack or swiss.
That is just not so. He was saying these romantic "cheesy" things sincerely and not looking stupid at all.
I am so grateful to be married to the best husband out there.
I can't do the things I used to be able to do I moan and groan.
Why can't I just have some time to myself?
I love my baby but I never get an interrupted time anymore.
I just get in the shower and waaah baby needs me.
I just snuggle down in a warm blanket to start this book I've been renewing at the library 2x already.
I want to run to the store easily and quickly getting my shopping done.
How do mom's use the restroom while out in public when the baby doesn't fit in the infant car-seat anymore and you are by yourself? How? HOW?
I want to do my hair.
I want to do the dishes.
I want to write on the blog.
I want to talk with a friend.
I need to sleep.
Have I been wearing this same sweatshirt for 3 days now? I need to change my clothes!
Oh don't get me started on laundry that needs to be done.
I just cut up the onions and got everything ready to start cooking for dinner.
Are you getting the picture here? I always am wanting to get something done and right as I'm doing it, all of a sudden I can't and I feel trapped. I feel overwhelmed sometimes. Maybe I'm not cut out for this mom business- Then Jay comes home finally and HERE take the baby before I go crazy! Of course guess what happens when he is caring for the baby? I wander in and end up playing right along with them. Of course.
I was taking a photography class every thursday night for a few weeks and that was my "break" from putting the baby to bed. Jay got to feed him and put him down for the night. But guess what? As hard as he would try, some nights I would get back by 9 and the baby would still be up so I would end up doing it.
This feeling has been building and building inside of me and all I want to do is do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and I can't because I have this new responsibility to be available all the time for whatever this little person needs. My body doesn't belong to me anymore, my brain- at least that's how it feels a lot of the time- I am a wife and a mother and where did myself go?
I talked with my cousin the other night who assured me that is how all mothers feel some of the time and sometimes we hate our jobs and mumble and grumble.
And this has nothing to do with the love I feel for the baby or wanting to make him happy and be there for him, whatever and whenever. Because I want all of those things too- it's just a transition from being yourself to belonging to something else entirely.
And then I stumbled upon this and I am putting the whole thing on here because I love it so much but I will also just highlight some of the key points:
You have had four hours sleep, the house looks like you’ve been burgled, the kids are screaming at each other, and the baby has colic. We have all been there and it’s not pretty. You feel overwhelmed, under appreciated and – let’s be honest- R.E.S.E.N.T.F.U.L. You want – no CRAVE- time away. Time to recharge, time to be yourself, time to not feel like a raving lunatic mummy – for just a short-while. You have fantasies about reading a book in peace, wearing a pretty dress (minus the stains), or having an uninterrupted conversation over a long, calm, adults-only lunch. This isn’t a good head space to be in, it can feel so imprisoning, yet we all feel it at one time or another. What are we encouraged to do about it? Modern parenting advice tells us to seek out, and actually insist, on that ‘Mummy Me-Time’ away from our kids. We are told it is vital for us (it helps us to recharge and have interests outside of motherhood) and important for our babies and young children (they learn to be independent from us).
But is it really such a good thing all-round, and does it even work? In my opinion it is a big fat NO to both. What I have learnt from my own experience as a mother-of-four, and as a parenting counselor working with many mothers in this situation, is that grappling for time apart from our kids often leads to more frustration and upset all around. It rarely recharges us enough, as promised, to feel better when we come back and we are stuck in a vicious circle of craving more and more (and feeling frustrated when we can’t get it).
Children typically react in various negative ways too due to our absence from protesting widely when we leave, to being very clingy or challenging when we return. Why is this? Because when they are young children only want to be once place – by our side. By the time kids reach puberty, certainly, they’ll be able to understand other people have needs too. But if they reach puberty experiencing that the way to meet needs is by ignoring someone else’s, that’s how they’ll treat others. Expecting to make time for one’s self with multiple young children is an unreasonable expectation. It may be possible if the children have a strong attachment to someone else, but in most cases they just want mum!.
I understand that moments away have value but the more we hold on for time away – for an hour, just an hour, to ourselves – the less we enjoy our moments with our kids. Getting a ‘Time-Out’, even for an hour may help in the moment, but it sure won’t fix it. It is like sticking a band aid over a severed limb.
So what can we do to retain our sanity? Switching gears from needing a ‘Mummy Time-Out’ to refuel to being able to refuel by being even more present with our kids is a much more practical solution. The fact is when our children are young learning how to be contented, to be happy, to get joy from being with them is pretty pivotal. But how can we make this shift in consciousness when we are at our wits end? Ironically enough what really does help is to do the exact opposite of what we feel we need ‘in the moment’.
Rather than run for the hills, actually get down to their level and really be with them. Bring them food, play a game, sing, chat, dance, read, tickle, run around outside – whatever helps us to reconnect. It sounds trite, but remembering to savour those moments, and remind ourselves that loving our children right now is something we really want to do is so important. It is something we chose and many people aren’t lucky enough to have what we do. That’s the kind of voice to add in and listen to any moment we feel frustrated and are getting wrapped up in the ‘hassle of parenting’. Rather than focus on changing them or getting away, we can focus on changing our perspective. Not once-and-for-all-forever – that’s too overwhelming – but a small step, just right now.
Does this approach really work? Many of the mothers I work with say it helps enormously. When my oldest child was small I honestly didn’t have these skills at first as it just didn’t come naturally . In fact it was excruciating. I loved being a mummy but as an avid reader I craved stretches of time to do that and I HATED being interrupted. I kicked and screamed, mentally. I wanted my brain back.However, once I started to step away from the expectation that I *should* have stretches of time to myself I found I could snatch little moments throughout the day which helped me recharge – a deep breath, reading an email, looking at the sky – and completely accepting that I could and would be interrupted. I also got into the habit of relishing those moments, no matter how small, as well as appreciating being able to really play with my kids and reminding myself they wouldn’t always need me this much. It took practice for sure but the rewards are immense. It just takes mindfulness and courage to ignore the rest of society who actively encourage us to push our children away at the earliest opportunity and start pulling them closer to us – even when it might be the last thing in the world we feel like doing at that moment.
Chaley-Ann Scott, BA (Hons), IIS, ISA, is a sociologist, writer, parenting counsellor, and mother-of-four. She is a contributing editor to The Attached Family (Attachment Parenting International magazine), and a regular contributor to The Natural Parent Magazine, Mothering, The Green Parent, The Mother, The Child, Kids on the Coast and Otherways. Her first book, The Shepherdess: A Guide to Mothering Without Control, is available in all good bookstores or online at www.wombatbooks.com.au orwww.asktheshepherdess.com.
It's from the Natural Parent Magazine which you can check out Here.
So, so good right? Even if you just read the highlighted portions;)
So I have noticed that a lot of the time I want to plan something to do with Jay or with my girlfriends or with my sisters and we talk about things and then I go, "oh yah, a baby can't do that" and end up feeling like I can't do anything anymore.
Well, guess what? It takes some creativity but I have been thinking of ways to include the baby into fun activities. Instead of Jay and I going to a movie, we plan an outing where the baby could enjoy to see what is going on as well (excluding date nights of course which I also think are really important for Jay and I to reconnect after a long week).
If I need to get something done around the house I have been strapping the baby to my back so he can come along and see what I'm doing. This is my new goal.
What is it to be "bonded" to someone?
It feels right when you are together
and wrong when you are apart.
This is my wish.
I wish to be bonded, bonded to the people that are most important to me.
So when I am interrupted during something I "want" or "need" to be doing:
(i.e. doing my hair, reading a book, sleeping blah blah blah)
I want to jump for joy that I have another chance to
hold my little one close
and sing songs
and make him
laugh
by dancing like a lunatic
and tickle his little toes
and smother him with kisses on those
chubby cheeks
and love those little arms that
cling
to me so desperately
and bask in his slobbery
kisses he gives to mommy
and know that tomorrow he is growing up
I won't have him like this
in this moment
ever again.
