Hair

I've been going through some old photos before I darkened my hair to a close-to-my-natural color.

I miss my blonde hair.

Summer Parade 2011

Before moving out of the Bungalow Fall 2011

And one of Jay because he's cute and it was with the parade pictures

26 weeks- 6 months!

(I'm just going to count my photo shoot pic as this week's photo)

Month: Beginning number 6

Weight Gain: 23 lbs

February 17th:

Water.

I cannot believe that it has completely changed the way I feel everyday. I am putting lemons and "True Lemon" flavoring mix in my water and I can drink water!!!! And I feel great!!!! Seriously I get tired but not as much and my skin is clearing up. Water is my miracle. Still can make me gag but I can stand it!!! I am so happy right now.

February 19th:

I am becoming more and more comfortable in my skin and with my changing shape- I actually like that I'm getting bigger in the belly because now it's starting to look and feel like a pregnant belly, not just a blubber belly if you know what I mean.

February 22nd:

Why can't I send in my registration for my class? Is it because I still don't want to think about the actual birthing part of having a baby?...I need to get that in- class starts March 2nd.

Oh and Sugar:

Yes, I started Saturday to stop eating sugar all together. I have been really strong until yesterday I subbed preschool and they had FRUIT LOOPS!!! And chocolate chip cookies- and you need a lot of energy to keep up with those little tikes so I allowed sugar while subbing, (I mean I was a zombie teacher nodding and smiling but not moving at all) preschool. But now I'm back off of it and feeling good, tired, but good.

February 23rd:

I love that people know I'm pregnant now- I gots the belly yaw- it's so fun to talk to people and share the excitement.

Photoshoot- The Belly

I was so excited when my friend Mariah said she was free this weekend when we went to visit Jay's family and agreed to fit in a few photo sessions featuring my growing belly! Thanks Mariah, you are the best!!!

I'm so grateful to have these to remember and celebrate this wonderful new little life that is changing my life and will change our lives forever.

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Oh and one more, just for laughs and maybe a few kicks- I couldn't stop laughing: the double chin, the seriousness and well the awkwardness of it all. I love it.

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Valentine's Day- I Like You

“I am satisfied that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Any man who will make his wife’s comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through the eternity yet to come”
-Gordon B. Hinckley

I love that quote from Pres. Hinckley so much! I think in today's world really everything is about the "romance" and "the spark" that really people are forgetting that marriage is more than that. It's really caring about another person and putting them first, before yourself- which I think as human creatures we have a tendency to want to put ourselves first in everything.

I was asked the other day if I really believed in marriage and I have to say that question struck me really hard because you look around and see relationships falling apart everywhere you turn. My answer was easy and without hesitation I said, "yes, I do believe in marriage".

Why is it so easy to say I believe in marriage? You think it's because I have only been married just under 2 years right? I can't say I have much experience, it's true. But I have learned more in these two years about love than I ever have in my entire life.

I think success in marriage doesn't mean that the two people have never "fallen out of love" or been bored with each other or had disagreements, maybe even had their heart broken by their spouse. I think success in love and marriage is learning to love another person, despite knowing them so well. It's growing together, having the same core values. If you both have the same core values, making goals together is easy and you can recognize when there is something that leads you away from those goals. And of course being a true friend to that person- not just loving them when they have done something right, but giving love when they have hurt you or done something wrong. It's doing things that you may not necessarily like that makes the other one happy (Jay has started gelling his hair for me! Yay!) I don't particularly like staying up late but I think it makes Jay happy to see me (and some food) when he gets home from work.

I tell Jay all the time that "I like" him. For a while I think it kind of bugged him because he would always jokingly say afterwards, "You mean you don't love me?" with a sad little puppy dog face.

The other day we heard John Bytheway speak with his wife about love in marriage and they pointed out that a lot of people fall out of like before they fall out of love. I think that is so true- because marriage is about choosing to love someone everyday- but liking them is another story. They pointed out that you really can't make someone like you but you can choose to be delightful. Jay chooses to be delightful and that's what makes him easy to like. I think now Jay gets it and appreciates it when I say, "I like you".

This Valentine's day was not "perfect": Jay had school most of the day and when he came home he had to do homework and then he had to work and I agreed to babysit for someone (since Jay was working) but it was special because I know he thought about me.

Jay woke up early and decorated the mirror in the bathroom with cut-out hearts with things he loves about me and I made him some giant nutella rice-crispie kisses. I had awoken that morning from a horrible nightmare (I can't believe how many of those I've been having lately-I guess it must be another pregnancy thing) and to see that he had taken that time out of his day to make me that and think of reasons he loved me meant so much to me I had to cry about it (of course-pregnant) and it was the sweetest thing in the whole world.

I am so grateful to have such a wonderful spouse and for the ways in which being married is teaching me to care for another person-more than myself.

I like you Jay!!!!

Okay I love ya too!

24 1/2ish Weeks

The hearts on my belly are from Jay's heart attack for me on Valentine's Day. They say, "You are going to be a good mom." "I love how you love our baby so much." and "You are a beautiful prego lady." Sweet huh?

Month: 5 1/2

Weight Gain: 20 lbs

February 4th:

I've been doing a little better about exercising- Zumba about once a week and yoga about once a week- I'm going to keep doing better.

February 8th:
Holy Smokes I feel like a big fatty. I can see how going to the gym with all those skinny people can get to someone-Did you know the recommended weight gain about now is 10-15 lbs. I have had a few mental breakdowns on the fact that I have gained so much weight. Sugar just has to go. Kate did warn me that I would get back fat but really?! I really do have back fat. But I have started changing my thoughts on the subject- I am so blessed that I am able to carry and grow a tiny human- my body is awesome that it can do that! I know that there are people who can't and to think that I can- that my body has this ability is truly a miracle.

February 9th:

Okay really? Before 3rd trimester? I had no idea! So: fat and leaky boobs- awesome. Oh and officially broke out the maternity jeans I borrowed from Nicole- so comfy! I'm officially feeling pregnant(that's probably not the first time I've said that huh?).

February 10th:

I usually only drink water with my morning prenatal vitamin- and then I'll have juice and milk the rest of the day. Today at the appointment the midwife Jen told me that I have to drink more water- that the reason I am so tired lately is because I haven't been taking enough in. I get so nauseous though and I can't describe how much I absolutely hate hate HATE water right now. I used to love it- I know it's good for me and I always fill up a water bottle or a cup and bring it with me- but do I drink it?

I finally tried some Crystal Lite but I read later that it has aspartme in it which can be dangerous.

So I found a brand you can find at Smith's called True Lemon which is sweetened with Stevia which I have heard from a few different sources is okay and should be safe- Jen did tell me that whatever I can do to get fluids I should do it and I agree. I have been trying just juicing a fresh lemon and that actually helps a ton. I think I can do this- Now I have been drinking at least 4-6 glasses of water!!! This is awesome and I've been feeling way better- less tired.

February 11th:

I heard that you dream more vividly when pregnant and can have crazy dreams but I have experienced dreams that feel so real and when I wake up I am sad and cry because they are terrible and feel so real.

This week was kind of a rough pregnancy week- I guess we'll run into those once in a while.

23 Weeks- Letter

I signed up on this website (babycenter.com) to send me a weekly update on my baby and what new developments and activities I can expect. I have loved reading about all of the changes and growth that the baby is making each and every week.

This week, at the end of the post it said:

This Week's Activity:

Write a letter to your baby.

• Describe your feelings toward your baby and what it's like to know he's growing inside you.
• Imagine a perfect day with your baby and what you'll do together.
• Write down your hopes, dreams, and wishes for your baby.
• Think about what being a mother means to you and your definition of what makes a good mother.

So here is the letter. I just wrote things as the thoughts and feelings came to mind-

Dear Baby Boy,

For such a little person, weighing about a pound right now, you have got a strong kick. You actually got me to say, "Ouch!" out loud yesterday.

And even though sometimes your kicks hurt, I am moody and crying constantly, my face is breaking out terribly, I am looking fat and kind of unattractive, I get tired-so so tired to the point I don't know if I'm going to be able to brush my teeth before bed, my feet and legs are starting to hurt if I've been standing for a couple hours, and it's getting hard to find a comfortable sleeping position and my back is beginning to ache and I've noticed my posture getting worse and worse and I am terrified of birth and worried if I will be a good mom and if I'm ready for this....

I marvel at you. You have brought me so much joy already. I love feeling your strong kick, knowing that my boy is healthy and moving around. I can't believe how lucky I am to experience this miracle of life growing inside of me. And I know that every pain and complaint I could have just makes it so you can grow and it makes it all so worth it. Everything is worth it.

I can't help but picture you and your dad playing some ball or maybe learning music- he would love to teach you to play the banjo or guitar.

How are we going to teach you to be good? I feel so imperfect at times and I wonder if I will be able to be a good example for you. A rock for you to lean on. What kind of role will I play in your life? I know I will take care of you and change your diapers and feed you and clean up your throw up and all of this but what about when you are older? Will you be able to talk with me? Will me and you be able to go have mommy-son dates? I guess I always pictured being friends with my daughters and never really considered that maybe someday I could be friends with my sons. I hope I can be strong enough to put my foot down when those times come, but also that you will know I love you and we will be able to have a good relationship.

I wish you to:

-be a disciplined and hard worker

-have a firm and strong knowledge of God and his love for you

-be able to have a lot of fun, whether that be sports or music or whatever interest you look into

-be strong and healthy

-be handsome, but not too soon- I hope you have a awkward teenage phase so the girls stay away from you for a while

-go and serve the Lord with everything you have for two years on a mission

-desire to be married in the temple

-treat women as treasures from Heavenly Father and always show that respect he would expect from you

-show love and kindness to all you come in contact with

-always remember your family and the love we have for you

-remember what is important in life and never lose sight of the big picture

-make good decisions and stay away from temptations that could make your life a lot harder to live happily and with the spirit

-be a trustworthy and faithful person until the end

-know of the power and importance of repentance

I think I could keep going on and on about all my wishes for you but I wish every good and blessed thing on this earth for you. I know that we need to be a good example to you of these things if we are really going to teach you anything. I know I have a lot of work to do and everything will not always be perfect but I want you to always remember the Savior and that he made it possible for you to repent and start again, no matter what.

Our family can be together forever and I'm so excited to see what life brings to you and what you choose to go after in life.

I love you so much son.

I pray for you every day and feel so blessed to know that I am going to be able to be a mother.

Love,

Mom

P.S. I cannot wait to hold you! I can't wait to kiss your toes blow raspberries on your tummy. Just thought I should mention that.