I just Died.

Well, technically my car did.
And if you are thinking "Oh poor Aubrey, she loved her
car so much that when it died, she died."

HA! I laugh at you for thinking that. Or with you. HA ha!




I mean, I was attached to my 1990 Honda Accord.
I mean I guess I was...in a way. The way anyone would be
attached to some old, rusty and temperamental thing that
got you where you needed to go... most of the time.

But that is not why I died.


I died because of

This:





And check out the backside.




I'm going to die. Oh yeah, I told you I already died huh?
Well I lied a little.
I am still breathing, but really fast and there's drool involved.

I'm freaking out.

A New Hair Story

I have been terrified to cut Jay's hair.
He says he never wants to pay for
another hair cut and I say I am too
scared. So we just let it grow and grow.
I am pretty sure he has only cut it once
since we were married.

Jay's hair was getting a little out of hand.
Sometimes it looked good:


Other times...well....


Yeah....

So after knowing nothing could be worse than
my previous post I took a leap of faith.
snip
snip
snip
and viola:
A dashing prince!



Dashing, sexy, same thing.

Every girl's worst ever nightmare

In case you didn't know I am a bargain shopper now.
I needed some new round brushes to help my hair
have that va va voom and body that we as women love.
So naturally I decided I would get some nice cheap round-
brushes from the dollar store...yes...the dollar store...
And If you read the title of this blog and are a somewhat
intelligent person, which I am assuming you are, you will
have guessed by now what the ending to this story will be.

All I can say is that I bawled.


I didn't know cutting your hair could be so painful


You may be asking, "Why? Why didn't you try harder? Were you
that impatient that you couldn't just take each strand one by
one and get it undone?"

Well I am here to tell you I tugged and pulled. I had Jay hold the
roots of my hair while I pulled. I grabbed the peanut butter (it
works for gum, it might have made it slippery). I considered
calling my new boss on the second day of work and telling them
"I can't make it in today because I got a brush stuck in my hair
and I have to get it out."

I tried the singling out one strand at a time and slowly start to ease
it out but it was too late. It was too tangled and it broke. I knew what
must be done and I found the scissors and took one snip. It was too
much. I fell on the floor in agony. (Really I know you must be in
tears by now from this detailed description-be strong.)



For the brave here are the pictures (if you are in tears I would suggest
giving yourself five minutes before looking):











Just five years to get it all the same length again. I will be 27 by then.

Now I can't end on that note:
Here are the positives:
1. I still have some hair left.
2. Because my hair is thick I can part it on the other side and camouflage it...
for the most part.
3. I have a hilarious story to make anyone laugh at any given moment.

So now you know everything.

Moral of the story:
Dollar store is great...just not for your hair.