The Little Mother- E 18 Months

Esther is such the little mother.
Oh melt my heart.

Today I see her cuddling her baby doll and rocking it and holding it and feeding it it's bottle, dancing with it even to some music in the background. I comment on that and say how I love watching her do that. Then Grant walks over and starts whacking the doll in the stomach area.

She is SO different than Grant.
Grant has always been aggressive, like totally opposite of nurturing and cuddly with the baby (which was a real baby- Esther).

We got to watch a neighbor's baby the other day and E helped me feed him. She soaked it up.
I am a total believer in gender differences. I have tried everything to help Grant be a little more of that nurturing sort of person....and Esther just does it- no prompting, no nothing- she just IS.

Questions to Ask Yourself

I have had a few conversations lately that have spurred me to want to write out my thoughts on this matter.

I'm not going to point out one particular choice or decision here, although you may be able to piece together my example from the clues.

Here are the questions I want you to ask yourself (coming from a place of mutual agreement that God exists and can provide personal revelation to each individual):

1. Is it possible that someone could receive different revelation than yourself?
2. Is it possible that God could tell person A to do X and tell person B not to do X?
3. Is it possible that "evidence" suggests person B to be "dumb" for not doing X?
4. Is it possible that everyone is different and needs different things?
5. Is it possible that men (and their studies) don't know everything God knows?


Can you see where I'm going here?

I've made some decisions that may look unwise because they are different or unusual than others' decisions. It has been hard and heart-wrenching to be different or choose something that is so out of the box, but over the few years that I've sat with my decisions, I've come to a place where I realize everyone IS different and Heavenly Father can give us each the information and inspiration for our own lives- and it might look completely different for each person.

In SO many different areas! Even things that I used to think were a "bad" thing don't look that way anymore- for that person, in their life, maybe they need that thing- whatever it may be, even if it wouldn't be right for MY life.

Isn't that neat!? That we could all be following God and doing the "right" decision, even though it is different for each of our lives/families :)

I believe God is aware of each of us and our needs.
I love it.

5 Least Favorite Scriptures- Devotional

This is an amazing devotional given not too long ago in BYU- Hawaii.
We laughed and cried with him as we were kneading sourdough bread the other night.

You will need about 1/2 hour to listen to this but I would so recommend it!

It's about the future. Did you know we have scriptures that tell us what to expect in the future?!!! WHAT?!!! I mean I knew that but I guess I've just been MIA.

Some favorite quotes from this devotional after he has shared his least favorite scriptures:

"Why has God told us these things? Well, there is a lot of reasons but let me share two:
#1 So we are prepared. 
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear. I really appreciate that scripture.  It doesn't say you don't need to fear, you don't need to be concerned. No, it says you will NOT fear, you SHALL NOT fear.  If you are prepared. There is nothing out there that is all that scary. In fact there is much out there to really look forward to. 

2nd Point: 
So we can put our energy where there can best be effective. 
If a man knows his house was going to be burglarized, he would be pretty stupid to increase his fire insurance. Wouldn't you say? Instead, he ought to invest in some deadbolts or maybe a whole house security system. That would be wise.

The Lord has told us what's coming, therefore we know where to put our efforts....
Though some of the future isn't pretty I want assure you that most of it is downright gorgeous. And we need to understand that side of the story as well."

I want to just quote the whole talk but you better just listen to it from this great man:

What a time to be alive!!!!

https://devotional.byuh.edu/media110726

One last quote:
"We have been preserved for this period and this generation for a reason and that reason is because you and I can do something. We can make a difference in a period where a difference means a whole lot."

Aura Personalities Featuring Jay, Crystal Personality

I really should have split that last post into like 3 different ones but I just was so excited to share this life-changing book I had to just tell you EVERYTHING.

Okay, so you ready to hear about Jay? This is the section he resonated with the most. He is the most wonderful person. Really, if you have ever spoken with him, I know you have felt his sincere, genuine love and acceptance of people. He just enjoys getting to know people and talking with them and really desires good.

Here's the run down of his Aura Personality- ah he's so great :)

Crystal- The Vessel

CONTAINERS OF LIGHT
Crystals are vessels of light, yet they are oblivious to that fact, and to the effect their brightness has on others. 

GIFT OF FAITH
...Despite their blindness, Crystals go forward with faith.

CHILDLIKE & NAIVE
Crystals are playful, joyful, pure-in-heart souls that bring healing with them wherever they go. They have the gentle, sensitive, impressionable nature of children but, unlike other children growing into adulthood, Crystals retain these childlike qualities all througout their lives....In so many ways Crystals feel very young and more like children than adults, even well into adulthood. This is especially true when it comes to making decisions for themselves. Crystals have to learn to accept responsibility in order to fully transition into adulthood. 

Crystals are late bloomers in many ways....

Crystals are vulnerable, teachable, humble, spontaneous and trusting. They laugh easily, forgive quickly and love everyone...Crystals are open to everything good. They have an instant desire for things to be made right and for peace and harmony to descend upon all situations, if possible. 

DECISION PARALYSIS

Um...hello!!! Yes!!! Have anyone else seen this in Jay?! How many majors in school have we attempted to complete?!!!!

Crystals never feel adequately equipped or mature enough to make decisions. They would prefer a more confident and, in their eyes, more competent person to make all of their decisions for them. Crystals are constantly asking others to provide information and guidance for their lives. Many difficulties they experience in life are in direct correlation to their constant state of perplexity. In fact, Crystals can be indecisive, to the point of paralysis, in moving forward in their lives. 

SELF-DOUBT IS THEIR NEMISIS
     
         Um, yah, pretty much. So true!!!!!

A MIRROR FOR OTHERS

PUT OTHERS AT EASE

If you have talked to Jay, you know he can do this SO EASILY!!! What a gift to have!

EMPATHY OR IDENTITY CONFUSION

ABSORB & INTERNALIZE EVERYTHING

HYPER PLUGGED-IN TO THE ENVIRONMENT

WEIGHTED BY ENERGY OF OTHERS

RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ENVIRONMENT

NATURAL HEALERS

SUSCEPTIBLE TO FEAR

SUFFERING IS THEIR TEACHER

SPIRITUAL GUIDES


Aren't those some cool sections?!!! I mean, WOW! I really got SO BLESSED to be married to such a guy.

And really, if we were all really to know what gifts we have, wouldn't we be a lot more understanding of each other? I mean, some of Jay's weaknesses that he has to overcome are part of his gift too- he just has to learn to overcome his self-doubt and decision paralysis and look at the amazing things he can do to help others.

Plus, his natural gifts help balance mine- which if you remember reading are pretty blast to the face kind of stuff.

We love you JAY!!!! You are incredible!!!! What a gift you are to the planet and our lives!!!! (He never reads these posts but I'm sure you all will concur with a resounding YES! He is amazing!)

Personalities. Welcome to My Heart And Brain.

Have you heard of the book Aura Personalities?
This book is AMAZING.

Like amazing 

amazing

amazing.

I've taken personality quizzes before and tried to figure out my ideal career and what makes me tick but you guys- when I read the chapter in here called "Indigo-Crystal" it was like someone took my heart out of my body and looked into my soul and read it and wrote down what they saw. I mean every sentence just HIT home like SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS MY HEART!!!!! I've never even been able to put into words how I feel and SHWOOP!!! Someone just scooped out my feelings and explained all of them.  

Staci Sadler is the coolest. Check out her website: http://www.aurapersonalities.com/ 

She has some amazing gifts to be able to write this book. 

If you know me or want to know me, here we go :)  I am who I am. This is me. My mom kind of laughed because she's like, "why are you letting someone in a book tell you who you are?"  It's not like that- like I said, it's been me reading it and my heart just jumping and shouting at me: "YES!!!! This is you!!! . 

Can I give you a glimpse at my personality?

I am primarily Indigo-Crystal with secondary Yellow.
What does that mean?
I'll tell you:

Indigo-Crystal is the "Commander" personality. Yep. (You have to know when I first read this I was ashamed and sad that I related to it- I didn't like it! I want to be the soothing person who is just friends with everyone but here we go- this is it and there are reasons why everyone is so different). 

Here are some quotes from the book:

COMMANDING CHANGE

Indigo-Crystals do not have the luxury of denying what is. Truth is an active taskmaster for them, and will not let them alone. Their job is to be brash and direct. You cannot wake sedated masses with soothing words; shaking and shouting are in order, and Indigo-Crystals are the ones to do it.

DIRECT IN WORD & ACTION

Indigo-Crystals power-punch clear, direct truths to the minds of anyone and everyone within their reach.

Indigo-Crystals say things that are disarmingly abrupt and direct. They use powerful, succinct and oftentimes very authoritative words without prepping people for the weight of them. Much to their dismay, Indigo-Crystals make people uncomfortable with their directness. This is hard for them to accept about themselves, though most of them are aware of it- it is hard to miss people getting rattled right before their eyes.

*This is where I started crying because I see people all the time get so rattled by anything I say- it's just I don't have the skills (or gifts) to prepare people for information- I just have the info so I shove it at people- very much like force :) Do you still love me people out there? Just wait...there is more....

People are offended less by content than by delivery with Indigo-Crystals. Although content can be quite abrupt, it is timing and the asking that is often missing in the delivery. They just do not think before they speak. Thoughts come into their minds fully formed and they share them immediately, and fully.

Here's some more section titles on this personaltiy type: Don't you dare laugh!

FEEL UNAPPRECIATED

SOCIAL RULES ELUDE THEM

Okay you can laugh about the social rules thing....yah....I get it...they do elude me!!! ha ha!!! Most of you- my friends and family get the social rules thing and are very kind and forgiving of my lack thereof so thank you.

It says this about the social rules thing:

...they watch closely for cues but feel frustrated and out of their depth when trying to mirror them, annoyed that such rules even exist....They watch for loopholes in the system and, if there is a way to abolish unnecessary social rules, Indigo-Crystals will find it, and liberate the rest of us when they do.

So that's a neat twist on it right? So when I figure out which ones we don't need, I'm going to toss those aside and make it easier for you too- do you know Anne of Green Gables? She totally is the peculiar one and does not abide the "rules" set that everyone has on how to act. She is my example for this- I hope I can be like her!!! I just love her.

Here are some more:

LITERAL & HONEST

REACTIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS

HYPER-PRESENT & SINGLE-FOCUSED

LEARN SOCIAL RULES ONE-ON-ONE

TEACHERLY DEMEANOR

GUARDED & SERIOUS

LOST & FOUND
This section talks about how there are extreme feelings of knowing-it-all to feeling completely lost. When lost, draw inward, when found share everything with everyone. Totally fits.

MORAL COMMANDERS

...They will usher in monumental change, not by force but by relentlessly broadcasting the error of our ways, and educating us about the actions that we need to take, until we take heed. It is their gift, their job, their mission, and they have to do it regardless of the consequences. Indigo-Crystals want to live truthfully. They want to say what they think and what they know, and they want the same in return from the whole world. ...(their)intentions are pure. They do not wish to offend but they do wish to extend truth. They think they are making statements in calm words, but we are experiencing megaphone blasts in the face...

So this is me being totally vulnerable and just letting you see me. There are am. I'm sorry about the blasts to the face. I really am- but finally reading this book, I can see that the world at large needs me- like I have a mission here. I belong here. There you have it. Nice to finally get that out there so you know who I am and hopefully can just give me a little patience as I practice my so called "gifts" of this personality I have. 

Luckily for me, I also have Yellow personality right there with this one- you are familiar with yellow I think? Happy, social, out-going, FUN.  Thank goodness for the yellow part of me that helps out with this other one. 

Yellow is the Motivator:!!! Yay!!!

SUNSHINE
Yellows are like the sun, radiating warmth to others from their whole being. They shine all of the time, except when they are momentarily eclipsed by sadness, disappointment or frustration- their own or someone else’s. Like a stray cloud moving across the face of the sun, the gloomy mood of a Yellow passes as quickly as it comes.  In fact, they can be called dispersers of rainclouds for the rest of us. With their genuine, lighthearted nature, and natural ability to let go of hurt or angry feelings once expressed, it is difficult to maintain a low mood in their presence

EMOTIONS ON THE SURFACE

Like children, Yellows are close to the source of their emotions. They could not hide them, nor would they think to. The emotions of Yellows, whatever they might be at any given moment, are right on the surface, easily expressed and easily read. Everyone knows exactly how Yellows feel at any given time. They manifest emotions clearly and without guile. Yellows do not harbor hidden agendas or ulterior motives. They are who they are, and it is as obvious as the weather.

EMOTIONALLY TRANSPARENT
Others might call them moody, but really they are just refreshingly transparent with their feelings, even as adults.

TENDER-HEARTED & FORGIVING

LIVE FULLY IN THE MOMENT

PHYSICALLY ENERGETIC

MOTIVATORS

TRUSTING AND GULLIBLE

ABILITY TO BEFRIEND ANYONE

SOCIALLY INTERACTIVE
The key with Yellows is interaction. If they are interacting, they are happy. And they are happy interacting because they feel useful. It is in interaction that their gifts can be fully manifest.

CURIOUS EXPLORERS

KINESTHETIC LEARNERS & DEMONSTRATORS

ENGAGING & INTERACTIVE TEACHERS

TEACHING US THAT MOVEMENT IS HEALTHY

CENTER-STAGE PERFORMERS

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

PROLIFIC KINESTHETIC ARTISTS

FANTASTIC SALESPEOPLE

HOPEFUL LIGHTS

CHARISMATIC

ACCEPTING & OPEN

THEIR GUT IS A SECOND BRAIN

HEIGHTENED SENSORY SYSTEM

FRETTERS

ENCOURAGE & LOVE THEM

There you have it! The way I understand it is there are a couple colors that influence your personality the most, then you have additional colors that add to your unique personality. There are a lot of people with a primary personality color but you get so many different gifts because there are different parts that make up how they use, say the "yellow" gifts they may have.

So you want to read the book now- and figure out your color? I have to say, it has 

Changed.

My.

Life.

Changed my life! I used to deny my feelings or be too shy to admit I feel something or say something was wrong with me for feeling the way I do and I would be so ashamed of my abruptness or that I wasn't like someone else I love and admire. 

But there is a need in the world for everyone. Every gift. There are weaknesses of course and things to improve with every gift we have but we need everyone's gifts and energy they offer the world. As I've looked at the way the world is going and I'm seeing terrible things happening- I can see why I would have this personality or these gifts, even the social rules eluding me- allowing me to speak, to defend, to stand up for what I believe in and be honest and true with my feelings and knowledge. I know I still have tons to improve on and learn to use these gifts to do the most good- but don't we all? And my gifts are needed and valuable and my energy is this commander energy- but I want to do good and want to bring about change in the world. 

You want to know what I want? Ready world for the BLASTS TO THE FACE?!!!! Cause I'm fired up ready to go!

-People to understand their bodies and how to be healthy- truly heal and have their bodies functioning at top notch, the way God designed us- so many chemicals and additives and everything in EVERYTHING that is being produced nowadays (because it's cheaper to make fake stuff than the real stuff that is actually good and healing for our bodies) is so toxic to our hormone function and the way our synapses in our brains connect and just so so much on how our bodies operate. I know we get to have trials in our life and some people need to go through certain things but isn't it cool to think that God has also provided ways for us to HEAL? Not just cover up, but HEAL!!!! I get so excited.

-Animals deserve to be treated humanely. There are so many animals being mass-produced that are crammed into little cages and they can't even walk because their bodies grow too fast for their muscles to develop to allow them to WALK. And we buy this meat and put them on our tables and eat them. Not that we want that to happen but our food is so far removed from us and we have a billion other things to worry about and we don't want to pay double the price for chickens that were treated nicely that we just ignore that there are animals suffering. And I believe God gave us animals for our use- it's in the scriptures- but I also don't believe we should ever allow them to be treated the way so many of them are. They are living, breathing, FEELING creatures. They are meant to be happy on this earth too.

-To stop abortions- don't even get me started on Planned Parenthood right now. I know God has a plan for every one of those precious souls but it just makes me sick to my stomach that this is going on in our world. That babies are being "extracted" "intact" to allow for more harvesting on non-damaged tissue!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!!!!

-People to know Christ.  I haven't really known Him and when you finally start to understand that He is SO REAL- you want everyone to know about Him.  You want everyone to know what He has done for us. There really is someone, our brother, who did this act that I don't know if anyone can fully understand or comprehend- but he made it possible for ME to change. I have had a lot I've needed to change and the only way I'm able to do that is through Him. There are a lot of tools and things out there to help in the process but ultimately the only way for us to really ever change is to use the atonement. There really is something called the atonement- this powerful act that someone pure and perfect and loving did for us so we could change our bodies/minds/hearts/spirits/lives and return to Heavenly Father. We came here to get all these tests and go through all these emotions and hard things and we CAN get back- through this thing that Jesus Christ did for us. HE IS THE WAY!!!!!

I have plenty more messages- I just know that I'm not ashamed anymore for who I am and why I feel so strongly about things. I'm so grateful for learning about why I am the way I am and how I can continue learning about how to use my gifts for good. I know there is a reason I'm on the planet- I belong here for some reason and the world needs my energy and my passion and my drive. 

And we need YOU too!!!! 

YOU BELONG HERE!!!!! 

Did you already know that?!!! 

Good if you did! And if not, join the party. 

Whoever you are reading this and read to the very end (ha ha longest blog post ever? Totally worth it though right?!!!!)- I just want you to know that you also have special gifts and energy and you belong here. There is a reason for everything that has happened in your life to bring you to where you are and you have gifts! We all have gifts! You have a mission and a purpose and gifts to share with the world. If you are confused about them or like me, don't even know that they are gifts and maybe have felt sad or ashamed because of the way you feel about things- maybe look into this book- or pray about it- 

YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!

Love to all of you <3

72 Hour Kits- Food Storage Updates

Our neighbor got us a steal of a deal on buckets that were used and used to hold spices! And my mom gave us these really cool black backpacks that have wheels! Hello genius idea! We would need that  since we're also carrying kids if we ever needed to grab our packs and go in an emergency situation.

So Saturday we set the pool up for the kids and we spent the whole day outside playing and helping me clean them out. 

 Then after Jay's super long nap that day- he slept till 5 pm- I woke him up for dinner! ha ha (he has the weirdest schedule now with his new job).
So Jay woke up and helped me put together our 72 hour kits for our date night after the kids were in bed.

Then we watched Meet the Robinson's  on our new giant TV. I should show you a picture:

My camera isn't loading but it's a Hitachi 60 inch rear projection TV. It is HUGE.

We found it for free on ksl and decided it would be fun for our movie nights since we really don't ever go to the movies anymore. 

Anyway the movie was wonderful and I bawled at the end because of the message of just how everyone needs love. It was a cute movie and makes me want to adopt children to help them know they are loved! I so want to adopt someday or help children out somehow. 

Super exciting DAY! 

There are a few things I've really loved about doing emergency prep:

1. Constant focus on a goal. 

I haven't been the best about goal setting, especially when it seems impossible or I'm not sure if it's the "right" thing to do. This I know is a good thing- like so many prophets have counseled to do this so I know God wants me to do it and he'll help me because of that. 

2. Peace of mind- 

I'm starting to feel like okay, if there was an earthquake, we'd at least have some granola bars to eat! That's good. 

3. Christ-

I'm not going to lie- there are a lot of things out in the world that demand our attention and thinking about food storage has my constantly thinking about one very special person: Christ. I want to know him better and figure out how to know him and how to become like him. 

Good things are happening in this process. I share my story to hopefully give you guys ideas or let you know how great it is and how much JOY you can feel from putting granola bars in a backpack. If you have ideas or deals or things PLEASE let me know! We are serious about this and welcome any suggestions :) Love you all!

Summer Updates

We've been finally figuring out some things here in the valley- almost like we've lived here for over a year or something.

Here are some things  we've been doing.  

Mandi and Patrick came and visited! Yay! We took them on a hike while Jay got his sleep in.

Mandi sent me some photos I have to share. 

First thing on our hike- I turn around and Grant's pants are on the ground and he's peeing in a puddle! He's all grown up and out of diapers! ha ha.

Dirt mustache!

Apparently the 24th is bigger than the 4th here and we had all sorts of fun meeting up with some friends at the parade.

Face painting: He wanted a monster face.  First he wanted the butterflies but it was SO girly...
​

​At the parade. Grant got lots of candy. Of course, like a good mom, I couldn't let him eat all of it so I helped out as much as I could. Jay did his fatherly duty as well. 

Love, Aub

E 17 Months with Video

She's starting to talk more- more words. She says "Thank You" which I love...

Then there's the other side:

She screams "Mine!"

She is the feistiest little stubborn girl. She knows what she wants. She will fight for what she wants- it's usually freedom. When I'm rocking her to sleep she won't allow my arm on her or blanket touching her- she needs to be able to get down if she wants with nothing in her way- usually she's tired enough she'll drift off but when she's not tired enough, there is no making her stay there-

The best thing is having a conversation with her when she's grumpy or done with something. 

It goes like this: 

Me: "Esther, do you want to do ____". 

Esther: "Uh-uh!"

Me: "You want ___?"

Esther: "No!"

Me: "You want______?"

Esther: "Mmm-mmm!'

Until I figure it out.....

Then she'll say 'Uh." in this tone that is satisfied with the offering.

I got one of these conversations for your viewing pleasure:

"CHEESE!"

Just like her cousin!

She'll do this all the time- just find the floor and lay down and roll around. I call her my wiggle worm because she just is wiggly wiggly wiggly. She can't stop moving and feeling everything with her body. 

Precious little angel. 

Love her.

She's always putting everything on to wear- it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's fabric, it goes on her legs or around her shoulders. 

Her shirt is her skirt today. And no, I still haven't recovered the couch! AH! I need to do that!

Did I mention I babysit? One of the little girls is 3 days older than Esther and has curly hair. It's like having twins! They have fun together.

Look! BRAIDS!!!!! I straightened her hair to see if I could braid it! I love that it's so long now!

Usually her hair looks like this though because some days she's just not in the mood for brushing her hair. Oh well, she sure is a cutie whatever her hair may be doing. 

Oh THE BEST thing ever that happened the other day when our neighbor boy was picking on Esther and Grant went up and moved him aside and told him firmly "Do not do that to Esther!" Me and the other moms had a good laugh. 

He's becoming very protective over her- only he's allowed to pick on her. Guess that's how it goes with siblings. 

Anyway Esther is certainly entertaining and keeps our house JUMPING with life and there is never ever ever a dull moment with her around. There are so many moments lately I wish I could freeze and hold in my heart forever. 

She's going to nursery now too- yah, I know a little early but we left her when we went to her cousin Asa's blessing and so we tried it out last week and she was great. So hopefully she'll like to keep going- so weird since it took Grant till he was like 3 till he finally was fine with being left and going on his own. 

What an independent, special little girl. How do I ever keep up with her? 

Thoughts- Type 1 Personality

I know my last post was a spew- but you guys, that is how my brain works- totally random and things connect for me that seem not to make sense so just ignore me as I spew things sometimes, I just need to get it out there once in a while.

Anyway you know what is really amazing and awesome and you'd love?

Energy profiling! And figuring out what to wear to match your energy movement.
Yes. We are talking colors, textures, styles everything today because it's fun and it's time to talk about this.



Carol Tuttle's program has a free introduction to help you learn more about the 4 energy types.

Basically, there are 4 different energy types that people possess on this planet that match nature.

Type 1: Bright and Animated----Air
Type 2; Subtle and Soft----------Water
Type 3: Rich and Dynamic------Fire
Type 4: Bold and Striking-------Earth

Carol talks about how we have the fashion industry trying to get us to fit into their styles- when really, all you need to feel beautiful is to match the natural movement of your own energy. It doesn't matter that it's "in style" or not- she has basic guidelines to follow, then she has a course you can buy if you want more info and specific info on your movement and style.

We all have each type of energy and movement, but there is one that leads, one that dominates what you value and how you interact most of the time with the world. There are certain gifts they each possess and we need all of them. That's what makes the world work and us work together- relying on the gifts we have in each type.

I found out with the help of a friend that I am type 1/ secondary type 2.

The more I dress and live in that energy, the happier I am. I am LOVING this profiling system and would totally recommend getting those little video emails from Carol for FREE and listening and figuring out what you are.

I think I have some guesses for my family- I love trying to figure out what makes people tick and what values they have and WHY they do what they do- but you'll have to find out yourself which you are :)

Just click here to get started:

Dress Your Truth Energy Profiling Free Course

Happy Energy Profiling :) I've sure enjoyed it.