Esther 1 Month

Highlights:

She sleeps sooooo well. (Why? I guess G never slept this good....the only differences are: we are starting from the get-go having her sleep by me at night and when she's in the bassinet she even sleeps well which I give credit to the swaddleme blankets with the velcro- those blankets are amazing).

Has a few tummy problems once in a while. Not everyday and not for very long.

LOVED her first bath. I decided after G's first bath that something would have to change with my next baby and someone told me that they bathed with the baby. So I got in there with her- she felt so safe and warm and yep- great idea.

Grant still attacks- yikes.

Using the carrier- she naps so well next to me and I am holding her while having my arms free which is awesome...ish...my poor little back- you've gotta have muscles to baby wear I tell ya! 

Hates wet diapers.

Loves her binky.

Mommy and Grant

 I needed some mommy/son photos to remember. I read an article talking about how moms hide from the camera and end up only having one or two photos of themselves WITH their kids! What? Maybe that's an old statistic because it's so easy now with digital cameras but then I really only have 2 or 3 with Grant and he's almost 2! So I have more than average but come on- mom's need pictures with their kids! It's too easy to want to hide from the camera with my "mom" look. Today I had a cute headband though that Jay dubbed my "I Love Lucy headband" so I figured it was alright for the general public.

"Smile!"

Now- funny faces! Like this!!! Grant look at mommy's funny face!

What?...Weird...I don't know about those faces- how to make my face do that?....

He totally got into it.

And loved it! Oh how I love his smile.

What a fun little friend I have. 

Ba-BAAAAAH!!!!

Sorry Cassy, Mandi, Nicole and Sierra- 

looks like Bethany has brainwashed him ;)

Goat Food

What do we do around here when Grant needs some motivation to eat his dinner?

#1 We remind him that uncle Austin eats peppers (it works every time).

#2 Dad pretends to be a goat. Please proceed to video for a demonstration:

When he really isn't eating well, we make "banana ice-cream!" and I pack it with spinach, pb, chia seeds and a little avacado so he's getting protein, fat (omega 3s) and iron! BAM!

For Tassy

For Tassy.

Before Cassy left she instructed me to show her picture to Grant everyday and tell him about his "favorite aunt" *wink *wink. 

I only had to mention her a couple times and now this is something G will talk about. "Where's Tassy?....Mess-a-Toe!".

If Babes Could Talk

I had a conversation with the baby today.

I'm not going to lie- it's been kind of rough on my end of things with 2 kids at home: I find myself snapping more often at Jay and Grant. Dinner has pretty much gone out the window. And I don't look the same as I used to and I've discovered I am a very selfish person and don't really like where I'm at right now.

So this was our conversation:

Me: Did you know it would be this hard?
E:    Life?
Me: Just having 2 kids now. I get angry with Grant very easily nowadays. I never used to feel this way with him- he always had a patient, loving mother to respond to his every need.
E:    Did you want it to be easy?
Me: That would be nice. It would be great to not feel pushed to the very limit and know what I want to do and how I want to respond but not be able to. I know what I should be doing, I just don't know how. It's come to going in a different room so I can breath through my anger when he does something he knows he shouldn't do. It doesn't bother me if it's an accident and he hurts you or spills something- it's when he defiantly smacks my face or hits you that flames erupt.
E:   If it were easy, you would never be tested.  When you feel comfortable in your ability to respond calmly, that means you aren't being pushed. You would never have to learn to control your anger.
Me: You are one smart girl. So, you wanted to come to help me out with that huh? Okay, fair enough. I just feel I can't be the kind of parent I want to be to both you and your brother at the same time. I don't know if it's possible.
E:   Anything is possible with God. What have you been relying on? Your own strength 'cause that's not going to get you far.
Me: I have been praying- I still feel like it's impossible. Yep, pretty much know my own strength ain't going to do it. What if you have to pay a price for my learning? Why must Grant deal with someone who is learning how to do this. I didn't realize I could be so angry- but he hits you and he's started acting out and I know we need to connect but it's hard when I have to nurse and keep up with dishes and change poopy diapers all day and stay connected with a toddler. How do I connect? He deserves kindness and respect and love, unconditional love.  Why would you have to come here and deal with me learning on you guys?
E:   That's all part of the plan. You did it for your parents and now we come here for you. So you could become the best you can be. We are friends you know and we knew each other before this life. I know you very well.  And you would never become better if you weren't tested. If you weren't wrung out to your very core and refine those hard edges. You are going to become smoother and more beautiful than you could ever imagine or ever dream to be without being tested like this.
Me: Alright- if you say so. I think you are right. I hope I can learn fast though. I want to be the best mom in the world for you and Grant. I want you two to know you are so loved and important and cherished spirits of God that have all the love in the world.
E:    Love you mom.
Me: I love you. So much.

She's so wise.
And I have so much to work on.

E's Baby Blessing

May 30th 2014

My aunt Shauna wrote down things for Esther's baby blessing, just like she did for Grant's. I love that she did that for me because during the blessing, Grant decided he had to be by his daddy and started bookin' it up there.  I had to jump out of my seat and tackle him, with as much grace as a horse on ice- I fumbled around with the pen and paper, then my long flowing whit skirt was attached to the diaper bag- but I did get to him in time and whisked him back to our seats. So I pretty much missed the blessing, let alone writing anything down.

It was a beautiful blessing, here are aunt Shauna's notes:

-bless you to continuing to develop and grow. That your body will function properly. To get the nutrition you need and become a wonderful, beautiful daughter of God.
-bless your mind to be clear, to see and understand the things of God.
-bless you at the appropriate time you will meet the right guy and be married in the temple and have a family.
-bless you to have faith and understand the purpose behind challenges and grow and help others through their difficulties.
-bless you to bring joy to our family, to be a wonderful daughter and sibling.
-bless you to find joy in the pure and simple things in life.

Also, as we were eating later, uncle Boyd shared with everyone what was happening during the blessing. Apparently the bishopric member who was in the circle told Jay to put one of his arms up on his shoulder- so he only had ONE HAND on our daughter- meaning he was just trusting everyone to keep perfect balance...while bouncing her to keep her calm. Turns out the bouncing got a little out of hand and she almost slipped right off! Uncle Boyd wrapped his fingers around her crocheted dress (my blessing dress my grandma made me) to make sure she didn't fall.

A little too much excitement for a baby blessing wouldn't you say?

After the blessing we met up and ate some good food and laughed about Sierra's initiation into the family. I decided you must have one embarrassing moment with someone in the family before really being a part of it. Mine: footies with Garr. Jay's: almost kissing my mom! Sierra's: smacking Ward's bum! he he. They had the same pants on and I guess Forrest was holding the baby when she turned around again Ward was- obviously she still thought the person holding the babe was her husband! So funny.

Here's some snaps I was able to nab:

 My mom's mom.

Dad's mom

I have a picture almost exactly like this in my baby book.

I started talking to her

Big smile for mommy's voice!

Melts my heart that she'll do that for me!

The newlyweds photo-bombing my diaper changing.