Jay and I are living under separate roofs in different cities.
No, we didn't have a fight... I just had to finish out my nanny job while Jay immediately began working in Provo (thanks to my cousin-in-law). It's great and everything, Jay working out there, especially because now that is where we plan on living and going to school and everything. He's living with my parents...while I'm living with his... ha ha.
First night was weird- the bed was big and empty so I piled my clean laundry on his side in hopes it would fill up space and not make the bed feel huge. I woke up with the clothes all on the floor, guess Jay was right about defending his side. Myth is now fact.
So Mandi is into theater and it's so fun because she will get us tickets when she is in a play so she is now in Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat at the Hale theater and gave us some free tickets to watch her.
It couldn't have come at a better time as it provided Jay and I an excuse to meet up in SLC and have a date. The play was amazing by the way, go see it! And Jay and I even splurged on a meal at Olive Garden (I seriously have forgotten how expensive it is to eat out!!!! I feel like some kind switch has gone off in my brain telling me how many hours I have to work to trade for one pasta meal and I can't switch it off anymore...it might be stuck that way now). Oh well, it tasted fantastic and I did enjoy it, so that's all that matters right?
It feels so weird to be dating your husband, not living under the same roof! I miss that goofy grin of his:( This week needs to hurry!!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Me vs. Old Man
Finally the day was here.
I have been training (off and on) for a few months now and I knew I could run the distance of 3.2 miles. Well,kind of.
Flashback
I remember my weight training class in high school: my teacher telling me that if I couldn't run for 10 minutes straight I would lose participation points. I could see others doing it but I don't know if I just really wasn't active enough or if I just psyched myself out, but I couldn't run that 10 minutes that day.
The mile run? I came in last at 13 minutes, panting and feeling like I was going to die or throw up.
My sister, Cassy, would "run" with me but really it was about the calories for us: as long as your legs are going up in the air, distance didn't mean anything, as long as you were bouncing up and down, even in place, you were losing more calories than walking so that's what we would do.
My Inspiration
Honestly, what inspired me to start running at all was Dean Karnazes book documenting his experience running 50 marathons..... in 50 days....in 50 different states. This crazy man talks about running like it really is:
"Running is not fun. It's too hard to be fun...
I'm not saying that running doesn't feel good. It does feel good, in the way that any form of hard work feels good to those who have a taste for it...
Running teaches you that there's a difference between working hard and feeling bad. Consumer culture tries to teach us otherwise. How many television commercials talk about 'making life easier'? If everything you knew about life came from TV, your goal would be to live the easiest, most comfortable and unchallenging life you possibley could. You would believe that the only good feelings are sensual pleasures such as the taste of a good soft drink and the fun of driving an expensive car and lying on the beach.
But it's just not true. Challenging and testing your mind and body, even to the point of exhaustion, failure, and breakdown, can feel as wonderful as anything else life has to offer. I suppose the enjoyment of hard work is more of an acquired taste than the taste for pleasure and fun, but once you've acquired it, you're blessed with more ways to feel good, and life is better. Harder and better."
My Goal
So I started small- there was no way I could immediately set the goal to do a marathon but I wanted this- I wanted a challenge for my body and my mind. I didn't know that it would test both so much. Just a whimpy 5k!!! But it wasn't just a 5k for me.
I noticed I was able to head out the door, knowing that I was working towards this 5 k, whereas if I was just running to "work-out" I know I wouldn't have been able to push myself out the door (especially at night after a long days worth of work).
But the fact of the matter is, I have no confidence in myself for running- 13 minute mile, give me a break!!! I couldn't run for 10 minutes? Seriously though, I didn't think of my goal as a race, just something that I wanted to see myself do.
Training
First day:
8 minutes walking, 2 minutes running- my lungs were on fire!
After that first day, it got better and better- to the point where I was consistantly doing 6 minutes running, 4 minutes walking.
That felt good- I pushed and felt like I was working and finally made it to about 3 miles in 45/50 minutes. But it wasn't about the time for me, I was doing the distance and it felt good.
Then after I had about a month or so of my training, I talked Jay into coming with me, silently gleeful about him being impressed about how in shape I was getting and that I could run ahead and come back for him panting-(He drives a truck all day long, I knew he couldn't be in that great of shape).
Jay's Pace
We laced up our tennis shoes and my heart sunk after the first few strides- he was ahead of me, no way I was going to keep up that pace. But I just knew that after 10 minutes or so of him running at that pace that he would get tired.
Nope.
I was chasing him!!! How could this be?!!! I was so angry, not that he was able to do that but that pretty much everything I had been working for for a month or so and felt so insignificant.
I got over that though and started training harder, trying to run faster, longer strides instead of my short bounce strides. My knee hurt, my hip hurt and my foot hurt all on one side of the body doing that. I just was not used to letting more than just my legs propel me forward- I had to use more of my body to do those long strides. Once and a while I ending up almost losing dinner, thinking I should have waited more than just 1/2 hour before running with Jay, to almost fainting and even to tears, fighting an inner battle that I just couldn't do it-thinking back to high school and how I just couldn't do it. Those thoughts are so powerful to the point where physically I just would literally feel like there was no hope.
The 5k came just in time I think. I was still doing 6 minutes running(long Jay strides) to walking 4 minutes to recover. I felt good about that and I knew as long as I completed the 5k I would feel good.
The Day Of
Well, that morning we got there and there were a ton of people, at least 50 of us. Looking around at all their faces and gear, knowing that these people were in shape and this was a race, I all of a sudden got scared. I was scared because I had told my neighbors I was training for this 5k and they were there! What if they laughed at me because I was super slow?
I frantically scanned the crowd for someone I knew I could beat, no matter what and there he was. Old, not really frail looking but definitely up there in his 50's, 60's with a nice big pot belly. Now, as long as I finished before him, I knew I would feel like I at least accomplished something. (The plan being my run 6, walk 4 deal).
I was so nervous about this, it was a race after all! My personal best being 45 minutes for about 3.2 miles which I felt was really good for me, but seeing these people, I knew I would probably have to push a little harder- maybe run 6, walk 3? That might be better!
With my heart pounding, but so ready, the race began. It was great seeing all the bobbing heads, knowing that other people do this and we were all doing it together today. I glanced at my watch and those 6 minutes went by way too fast, maybe I could at least run till the first mile marker- why wasn't anyone taking a break and walking? Didn't anyone lose their breath like I did? This is so embarrassing!!! What if I'm last? Oh well, I can't breath, so I took a walk break.
I made my walk breaks shorter though- I cut it down to 1 minute. That seemed to work fine until the 2nd mile marker. My breath would turn short and frantic and I would have to concentrate on making it slow and even and controlled. I took a little longer walk break, maybe 2 minutes and I could hear breathing behind me- coming up, closing in the distance. I reminded myself again that this was a challenge for me and it wasn't about beating anyone. So I concentrated on getting my break that I so desperately felt I needed when no other than- it couldn't be....
The old man.
The Last Stretch
WHAT?!!! How, no, this can't be- Okay I'm done with my break now. I pushed past him quite easily at a faster pace but could only keep it up for a little while. I couldn't run my full 6 minutes anymore so I was taking 15- 30 second recovery breaks just to get my breathing under control. And there was that breathing behind me again-no way!! How does he keep going? He's fat and old! I am young and I've been training! It's not fair. I just have to let him go in front of me- I shouldn't have singled him out- it's fine, next time I'll do better.
No, if I let him go, I know I will walk the rest of the way, feeling defeated.
So what did I do?
I pushed myself even harder than I thought was possible. Passing him, making sure I was a little ahead of him, knowing that I would have to walk a little to recover, knowing he would probably pass me, only for me to push again in front of him. No way am I letting him beat me! The goal was in sight and I could hear him breathing again- no way!!! But there was the finish line, just a couple hundred feet away.
Well, I must tell you my time was more than I ever hoped for that day because of that old man pushing me. My time was 34 minutes, 40 seconds. 34.40. Doesn't sound half bad does it? And I bet you are wondering if I beat that old man. Does it matter?
But yes.
Yes I did.
I have been training (off and on) for a few months now and I knew I could run the distance of 3.2 miles. Well,kind of.
Flashback
I remember my weight training class in high school: my teacher telling me that if I couldn't run for 10 minutes straight I would lose participation points. I could see others doing it but I don't know if I just really wasn't active enough or if I just psyched myself out, but I couldn't run that 10 minutes that day.
The mile run? I came in last at 13 minutes, panting and feeling like I was going to die or throw up.
My sister, Cassy, would "run" with me but really it was about the calories for us: as long as your legs are going up in the air, distance didn't mean anything, as long as you were bouncing up and down, even in place, you were losing more calories than walking so that's what we would do.
My Inspiration
Honestly, what inspired me to start running at all was Dean Karnazes book documenting his experience running 50 marathons..... in 50 days....in 50 different states. This crazy man talks about running like it really is:
"Running is not fun. It's too hard to be fun...
I'm not saying that running doesn't feel good. It does feel good, in the way that any form of hard work feels good to those who have a taste for it...
Running teaches you that there's a difference between working hard and feeling bad. Consumer culture tries to teach us otherwise. How many television commercials talk about 'making life easier'? If everything you knew about life came from TV, your goal would be to live the easiest, most comfortable and unchallenging life you possibley could. You would believe that the only good feelings are sensual pleasures such as the taste of a good soft drink and the fun of driving an expensive car and lying on the beach.
But it's just not true. Challenging and testing your mind and body, even to the point of exhaustion, failure, and breakdown, can feel as wonderful as anything else life has to offer. I suppose the enjoyment of hard work is more of an acquired taste than the taste for pleasure and fun, but once you've acquired it, you're blessed with more ways to feel good, and life is better. Harder and better."
My Goal
So I started small- there was no way I could immediately set the goal to do a marathon but I wanted this- I wanted a challenge for my body and my mind. I didn't know that it would test both so much. Just a whimpy 5k!!! But it wasn't just a 5k for me.
I noticed I was able to head out the door, knowing that I was working towards this 5 k, whereas if I was just running to "work-out" I know I wouldn't have been able to push myself out the door (especially at night after a long days worth of work).
But the fact of the matter is, I have no confidence in myself for running- 13 minute mile, give me a break!!! I couldn't run for 10 minutes? Seriously though, I didn't think of my goal as a race, just something that I wanted to see myself do.
Training
First day:
8 minutes walking, 2 minutes running- my lungs were on fire!
After that first day, it got better and better- to the point where I was consistantly doing 6 minutes running, 4 minutes walking.
That felt good- I pushed and felt like I was working and finally made it to about 3 miles in 45/50 minutes. But it wasn't about the time for me, I was doing the distance and it felt good.
Then after I had about a month or so of my training, I talked Jay into coming with me, silently gleeful about him being impressed about how in shape I was getting and that I could run ahead and come back for him panting-(He drives a truck all day long, I knew he couldn't be in that great of shape).
Jay's Pace
We laced up our tennis shoes and my heart sunk after the first few strides- he was ahead of me, no way I was going to keep up that pace. But I just knew that after 10 minutes or so of him running at that pace that he would get tired.
Nope.
I was chasing him!!! How could this be?!!! I was so angry, not that he was able to do that but that pretty much everything I had been working for for a month or so and felt so insignificant.
I got over that though and started training harder, trying to run faster, longer strides instead of my short bounce strides. My knee hurt, my hip hurt and my foot hurt all on one side of the body doing that. I just was not used to letting more than just my legs propel me forward- I had to use more of my body to do those long strides. Once and a while I ending up almost losing dinner, thinking I should have waited more than just 1/2 hour before running with Jay, to almost fainting and even to tears, fighting an inner battle that I just couldn't do it-thinking back to high school and how I just couldn't do it. Those thoughts are so powerful to the point where physically I just would literally feel like there was no hope.
The 5k came just in time I think. I was still doing 6 minutes running(long Jay strides) to walking 4 minutes to recover. I felt good about that and I knew as long as I completed the 5k I would feel good.
The Day Of
Well, that morning we got there and there were a ton of people, at least 50 of us. Looking around at all their faces and gear, knowing that these people were in shape and this was a race, I all of a sudden got scared. I was scared because I had told my neighbors I was training for this 5k and they were there! What if they laughed at me because I was super slow?
I frantically scanned the crowd for someone I knew I could beat, no matter what and there he was. Old, not really frail looking but definitely up there in his 50's, 60's with a nice big pot belly. Now, as long as I finished before him, I knew I would feel like I at least accomplished something. (The plan being my run 6, walk 4 deal).
I was so nervous about this, it was a race after all! My personal best being 45 minutes for about 3.2 miles which I felt was really good for me, but seeing these people, I knew I would probably have to push a little harder- maybe run 6, walk 3? That might be better!
With my heart pounding, but so ready, the race began. It was great seeing all the bobbing heads, knowing that other people do this and we were all doing it together today. I glanced at my watch and those 6 minutes went by way too fast, maybe I could at least run till the first mile marker- why wasn't anyone taking a break and walking? Didn't anyone lose their breath like I did? This is so embarrassing!!! What if I'm last? Oh well, I can't breath, so I took a walk break.
I made my walk breaks shorter though- I cut it down to 1 minute. That seemed to work fine until the 2nd mile marker. My breath would turn short and frantic and I would have to concentrate on making it slow and even and controlled. I took a little longer walk break, maybe 2 minutes and I could hear breathing behind me- coming up, closing in the distance. I reminded myself again that this was a challenge for me and it wasn't about beating anyone. So I concentrated on getting my break that I so desperately felt I needed when no other than- it couldn't be....
The old man.
The Last Stretch
WHAT?!!! How, no, this can't be- Okay I'm done with my break now. I pushed past him quite easily at a faster pace but could only keep it up for a little while. I couldn't run my full 6 minutes anymore so I was taking 15- 30 second recovery breaks just to get my breathing under control. And there was that breathing behind me again-no way!! How does he keep going? He's fat and old! I am young and I've been training! It's not fair. I just have to let him go in front of me- I shouldn't have singled him out- it's fine, next time I'll do better.
No, if I let him go, I know I will walk the rest of the way, feeling defeated.
So what did I do?
I pushed myself even harder than I thought was possible. Passing him, making sure I was a little ahead of him, knowing that I would have to walk a little to recover, knowing he would probably pass me, only for me to push again in front of him. No way am I letting him beat me! The goal was in sight and I could hear him breathing again- no way!!! But there was the finish line, just a couple hundred feet away.
Well, I must tell you my time was more than I ever hoped for that day because of that old man pushing me. My time was 34 minutes, 40 seconds. 34.40. Doesn't sound half bad does it? And I bet you are wondering if I beat that old man. Does it matter?
But yes.
Yes I did.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Nannying
Can I just start by giving all the mothers out there a round of applause?!!!
I've been super busy for I have become a summer nanny. I love my physical therapy job but I wasn't getting very many hours so this was the solution. And it worked out because I can still work a little bit at Mountain Land and a little bit nanny because the parents have joint custody of the kids so it's every other week.
Let me tell you one thing: it is hard work. Holy Guacamole. This is mother training at 100% saturation. I won't bore you with the routine I've established or the chores I have them do...except for Jay's clever idea to call some of the chores "Ninja Missions". I used this to have them earn computer time. They looked at me kind of crazy but it got them to laugh and not groan about "chores" cause it sounded cool to do a ninja mission. Anyway, let me introduce you to:
Caleb- 14 years old. Likes playing on the computer a lot. He also enjoys a good book. Oh yah, and I bought some water balloons for them and he set up a booby trap which I stepped into and got soaking wet. Learned my lesson there.
Katie- 12 years. She is very much grown-up and wears make-up. She loves Justin Beiber too so we have fun blasting his music and having dance parties.
Abby- 10 years. Abby is the sweetest girl with down syndrome you will ever meet with bouts of stubbornness. She is like a 3 year old, with the added strength of an ox who also has a hard time speaking. She will mumble the words and make clicking sounds and such ending the sentence with, "Okay?!!!?"
The first few days I said "Okay" right back, ending up with her doing outrageous things like coloring on the wall and running into the street. I have learned to not agree with anything she says. I am learning some sign and doing better at interpreting what she is trying to communicate.
I have had some adventures with these kids and it has been really exhausting but fun so far. I cannot believe how hard it could really be to get kids active- it's so much easier to let them play computer or watch movies all day.
I'm sure there will be great stories to come...
I've been super busy for I have become a summer nanny. I love my physical therapy job but I wasn't getting very many hours so this was the solution. And it worked out because I can still work a little bit at Mountain Land and a little bit nanny because the parents have joint custody of the kids so it's every other week.
Let me tell you one thing: it is hard work. Holy Guacamole. This is mother training at 100% saturation. I won't bore you with the routine I've established or the chores I have them do...except for Jay's clever idea to call some of the chores "Ninja Missions". I used this to have them earn computer time. They looked at me kind of crazy but it got them to laugh and not groan about "chores" cause it sounded cool to do a ninja mission. Anyway, let me introduce you to:
Caleb- 14 years old. Likes playing on the computer a lot. He also enjoys a good book. Oh yah, and I bought some water balloons for them and he set up a booby trap which I stepped into and got soaking wet. Learned my lesson there.
Katie- 12 years. She is very much grown-up and wears make-up. She loves Justin Beiber too so we have fun blasting his music and having dance parties.
Abby- 10 years. Abby is the sweetest girl with down syndrome you will ever meet with bouts of stubbornness. She is like a 3 year old, with the added strength of an ox who also has a hard time speaking. She will mumble the words and make clicking sounds and such ending the sentence with, "Okay?!!!?"
The first few days I said "Okay" right back, ending up with her doing outrageous things like coloring on the wall and running into the street. I have learned to not agree with anything she says. I am learning some sign and doing better at interpreting what she is trying to communicate.
I have had some adventures with these kids and it has been really exhausting but fun so far. I cannot believe how hard it could really be to get kids active- it's so much easier to let them play computer or watch movies all day.
I'm sure there will be great stories to come...
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Check it out!
You know that feeling that you finally got something that you always wanted?
You know, like a little kid on Christmas: that feeling of excitement and anticipation
that has built up for the past months as you waited to get your hands on that
one thing you have been dreaming about.
You want to jump and cry and leap and shout, "I FINALLY HAVE IT!!!"
I am a little kid on Christmas right now.
I bought my camera!
You know, like a little kid on Christmas: that feeling of excitement and anticipation
that has built up for the past months as you waited to get your hands on that
one thing you have been dreaming about.
You want to jump and cry and leap and shout, "I FINALLY HAVE IT!!!"
I am a little kid on Christmas right now.
I bought my camera!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Bibbity Bobbity Boo
What do you do when summer hits and you're not in school?
Sit around, lay by the pool, read some books, go on trips! Well, that is usually what my summers look like but this summer I am going to work!
A lot.
I got a nanny job and I'm still going to work a little bit with Physical Therapy. Now for my down time, which I'm going to have so much of, I want to start learning how to refinish furniture.
I am going to record my projects from the summer. I have a lot I wish to accomplish and a lot to learn! I am so excited. If you are interested in following, the URL is tatteredcharm.blogspot.com (Cute name huh?)
Hopefully I can turn the tattered into charm...guess we'll find out.
I've collected a free bookshelf which needs some love, and I hopefully will have a vanity by tomorrow...cross your fingers for me...
Now I just need my magic wand- which will most likely take the form of a combination of: sander, primer and lots and lots of paint.
Sit around, lay by the pool, read some books, go on trips! Well, that is usually what my summers look like but this summer I am going to work!
A lot.
I got a nanny job and I'm still going to work a little bit with Physical Therapy. Now for my down time, which I'm going to have so much of, I want to start learning how to refinish furniture.
I am going to record my projects from the summer. I have a lot I wish to accomplish and a lot to learn! I am so excited. If you are interested in following, the URL is tatteredcharm.blogspot.com (Cute name huh?)
Hopefully I can turn the tattered into charm...guess we'll find out.
I've collected a free bookshelf which needs some love, and I hopefully will have a vanity by tomorrow...cross your fingers for me...
Now I just need my magic wand- which will most likely take the form of a combination of: sander, primer and lots and lots of paint.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Crushed Headlight
I was furious when I got off from a long days work and discovered someone had run into my car, shattering the passenger headlight.
I thought, "Just because my car is in bad shape and old doesn't mean someone can just come and hit my car and it's fine! What the nerve! Obviously if I drive this piece of junk it means I can't afford a spiffy car- really?!!!"
I stood up to discard the shattered glass that had sprayed all over the asphalt and did a double take to my windshield. My anger fled and was replaced with shock to find a note there.
"I am so sorry I hit your car" with a listed name and number.
Relief and gratitude were my first two emotions and I called the girl up to arrange getting the light fixed. I profusely thanked her for her honesty. Her husband actually works as mechanic so I was able to bring the car to his shop to get it fixed up.
I was again impressed when he not only replaced the broken headlight, but took a little extra time to replace my grill, which had been broken previously, and my bumper, which had been holding on by a thread, and tighten the battery so it wouldn't jiggle around and become unhooked. He spent three hours fixing all of this stuff and apologized for his wife hitting the car.
Why was I so surprised that someone in the world is honest and goes above and beyond the call of duty? I am so so grateful and blessed and now know from experience that yes, there are still good people out in the world.
I thought, "Just because my car is in bad shape and old doesn't mean someone can just come and hit my car and it's fine! What the nerve! Obviously if I drive this piece of junk it means I can't afford a spiffy car- really?!!!"
I stood up to discard the shattered glass that had sprayed all over the asphalt and did a double take to my windshield. My anger fled and was replaced with shock to find a note there.
"I am so sorry I hit your car" with a listed name and number.
Relief and gratitude were my first two emotions and I called the girl up to arrange getting the light fixed. I profusely thanked her for her honesty. Her husband actually works as mechanic so I was able to bring the car to his shop to get it fixed up.
I was again impressed when he not only replaced the broken headlight, but took a little extra time to replace my grill, which had been broken previously, and my bumper, which had been holding on by a thread, and tighten the battery so it wouldn't jiggle around and become unhooked. He spent three hours fixing all of this stuff and apologized for his wife hitting the car.
Why was I so surprised that someone in the world is honest and goes above and beyond the call of duty? I am so so grateful and blessed and now know from experience that yes, there are still good people out in the world.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Cassy's Senior Picture Fiasco
I have always wanted to be a photographer.
Yes it has been my dream for quite some time now.
Yet my photography class was an utter disaster except for one picture of a swing from above which I risked my life to get by climbing up above the swing, teetering with one hand pointing and shooting and the other holding on for dear life at the top of the swing set.
I didn't even aim right- I just snapped the photo and climbed down, luckily unscathed.
My teacher thought it was the best picture ever and requested a copy for him to keep...looking back he probably used it and sold it!!! ah the nerve....ah well...
Anyway, so my mother wanted me to take my sister's senior pictures. First of all I am in the process of getting a camera (I put my couch up for sale on KSL- Jay offhandedly said that if I wanted to sale our couch to pay for my camera I could. Little did he know I would actually do it...the very next day.) So I borrowed my uncles Canon, which is a decent camera- I really do love it, but we only had 1/2 hour of daylight left.
We frantically tried to find cool places to photograph my sista's beauty, and get her changed in as many outfits as possible.
Most of the pictures turned out blurry but there were a few good ones-
She's so beautiful! Love ya Cass!
Yes it has been my dream for quite some time now.
Yet my photography class was an utter disaster except for one picture of a swing from above which I risked my life to get by climbing up above the swing, teetering with one hand pointing and shooting and the other holding on for dear life at the top of the swing set.
I didn't even aim right- I just snapped the photo and climbed down, luckily unscathed.
My teacher thought it was the best picture ever and requested a copy for him to keep...looking back he probably used it and sold it!!! ah the nerve....ah well...
Anyway, so my mother wanted me to take my sister's senior pictures. First of all I am in the process of getting a camera (I put my couch up for sale on KSL- Jay offhandedly said that if I wanted to sale our couch to pay for my camera I could. Little did he know I would actually do it...the very next day.) So I borrowed my uncles Canon, which is a decent camera- I really do love it, but we only had 1/2 hour of daylight left.
We frantically tried to find cool places to photograph my sista's beauty, and get her changed in as many outfits as possible.
Most of the pictures turned out blurry but there were a few good ones-
She's so beautiful! Love ya Cass!
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