My Dream (one of those pregnancy ones)

I dreamt last night that baby was born!

It was really different because I didn't tell anyone that I was going into labor, not even Jay. And I stayed home and it was so fast. All of a sudden I was holding my baby boy in my arms and nobody knew! How fun it was going to be to surprise everyone.

Then I was holding him and saying his name that we picked out for him.  All of a sudden he was older- like 4 or 5 and he told me he knew his name because I always said it and he knew my voice too-but he thought it was weird that I was talking in a "baby voice" to him since I never used that voice. He knew his name but kind of shrugged at it and said, "Well, that's what you've been calling me" like he wasn't that excited about it. Then he was really tall- and he looked a lot like Jay- dark hair, freckles, blue eyes. I tried calling him the name we had picked and it just didn't fit- I mean he accepted it because that's what we call him but I'm not sure now if that is going to be his name....

Then, I went upstairs but now I was looking for my baby- I needed to feed him, I was sure that's what you were supposed to do after giving birth and I was looking and everyone was home but nobody noticed that my huge belly was gone. I was shocked that people talked to me and didn't notice my belly was gone. I had to find the baby so I could just show them.

This dream was a little weird- that he was older and everything and he talked to me but I have to tell you the whole delivery part was awesome. I am actually really looking forward to labor and that will mean I will get to meet my little man. And he will grow someday and I am looking forward to being his mom.

I don't know if this happens to other pregnant women with the first child but I start really thinking about what this is going to mean- I have to grow up- now I can't be the whiny one or be the one taken care of all the time- now I am going to take care of someone else- I almost feel like I am going to be a different person. It scares me sometimes to think what a big change a little person will bring.

But after this dream I am just totally excited. Excited to make that change- even though it's scary. I am so happy that I am going to be a mom to this person and take care of him and raise him to be good. I seriously can't wait.